The US mini-tour TOOL will be performing throughout May sold out Saturday in record time. Each of the dates have been bought out entirely. Of course, since TOOL fans are notoriously anxious panick ensued, which apparently hit the band with a barrage of emails. In response, Maynard released this statement:

Many people are complaining about the sold out shows. Relax. We’re doing a full on tour at the end of the summer which goes almost everywhere. And in the new year, we’ll go almost everywhere else. These are just a handful of warm-up dates. There’s nothing much we can do to out wit the scalpers. If you have patience, just don’t buy the tickets from them. just wait until August. Screw them. Believe me, if I could design a virus that would leave scalpers totally impotent, mute, and penniless, I would. Same goes for lawyers. (I have a whole different virus in mind for mini vans. More on that later.)

Despite being completely sold, here are the current US dates:
SUN-APR-30 INDIO, CA / COACHELLA FESTIVAL
TUE-MAY-02 SEATTLE / PARAMOUNT THEATRE
THU-MAY-04 OAKLAND / PARAMOUNT THEATRE
FRI-MAY-05 LAS VEGAS / THE JOINT
SAT-MAY-06 PHOENIX / GAMMAGE HALL
MON-MAY-08 DALLAS / McFARLIN AUDITORIUM
WED-MAY-10 DENVER / TEMPLE BUELL THEATRE
THU-MAY-11 KANSAS CITY / MEMORIAL HALL
FRI-MAY-12 MINNEAPOLIS / ORPHEUM THEATRE
SAT-MAY-13 CHICAGO / AUDITORIUM THEATRE
MON-MAY-15 DETROIT / FOX THEATRE
TUE-MAY-16 TORONTO / HUMMINGBIRD THEATRE
THU-MAY-17 PHILADELPHIA / TOWER THEATRE
FRI-MAY-19 NEW YORK / CITY CENTER
SAT-MAY-20 NEW YORK / CITY CENTER
SUN-MAY-21 BOSTON / WANG CENTRE